The three fat sheep and the scary bear
A long long time ago there was a scary, fat, bad bear that was the hungriest bear you ever have seen.
One spooky,scary night he saw three, enormous, fat sheep wandering around. Suddenly POP the bear came out. The fat little sheep ran and ran as fast as they could.
As they ran away, the first little sheep saw a short weak man that had banana and apple. The first little sheep made a house out of the apples and bananas.
The second fat sheep saw lots of sour lollies and he made them into a lolly house.
The third fat sheep built a house out of hard brick .
The scary bear went and saw the first little fat sheep’s house made out of banana and apples. He said “LET ME COME IN.” The fat sheep said, “No, no, no, not by the hair on my chinny chin chin. The scary bear huffed and puffed and blew the house that was made out of banana and apples down. The first little sheep ran into the second sheeps house.
Later he saw the second sheep in the lolly house and he said “LET ME COME IN.” The fat sheep said, “no, no, no not by hair on my chinny chin chin.” The scary bear huffed and puffed and blew the sour lolly house down. The first and second little sheep ran into the third sheeps house.
Before long he went to the third fat sheep and said “LET ME COME IN.” The fat sheep said, “no, no, no not by the hair on my chinny chin chin.” The scary bear huffed and puffed and huffed and puffed and ….... couldn’t blow down the house.
Then he went far far away. He was never found again.
2 comments:
I like your story! Great Job keep the Awesome work up.
Selina, I really enjoyed reading your fractured fairytale. You enjoyed our Fairytales unit and this shows in the imaginative elements in your story. You have worked well towards achieving the learning intention which was to rewrite a known fairy tale using the elements of narrative writing. You used the success criteria to help you create an entertaining fairytale. I particularly liked the way you have used onomatopoeia, POP and sequenced they story well. Ka pai! Your next step is to work on including more language features such as similes in your writing and to work on developing a strong ending to your story. It is easy to rush an ending after writing a long story but it is one of the most important parts as it pulls the whole story together. .
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